Broken-hearted

What do you do when the person you love more than anything in the world doesn't want to settle down with you? I love Robert more than anything, but when I asked him what we were going to do when school is over he shrugged his shoulders and looked away. I asked him, what about moving in together, he said it's not what he wanted right now. That he didn't want to give up his "guy time" to settle down with me or anyone else. It broke my heart to hear him say it. I wish I had never asked. It did more harm than good and now I'm fighting the urge to just sit in a corner and cry till I can't cry no more. I hate knowing!! It's not fair! I love him more than he could ever know, but now I don't know if he feels the same about me. Nothing could make me love him any less but every day I love him o so much more. My mind is spinning with thoughts of losing him. They're so horrible!!! I want them to STOP but I don't know how! Maybe he'll change his mind by next May... hopefully.

Moving a Life...

My room is packed
In boxes stacked so high
My clothes, my bed, and even my teddy bear
I look up at the boxes
High as a mountain top
My closet is empty
The floor is bare
and the walls have shadows
Of what once hung there
The truck is out front
Loaded down with my life
Everything I own,
piled high in boxes, big and small
Are carried from my room,
my sanctuary
Taken outside in the summer sun
Aired out by the blistering wind
My life, torn down
broken apart and shoved into boxes
Leaving behind everything I know
All the things I love
A chance to begin anew
A chance to change
But a change I don't want to make
just one I have to do.

Words are like swords. They pierce the heart with every blow and cause a pain so great it's unlike any other kind of pain. They rip apart your dreams and stomp you into the ground where you lay broken wishing you could change the outcome. Why tear others down with hateful words, when they're just going to come back in the end. Those words that flew from your lips without care will one day be your own down fall. They'll pull you down further than you've ever been before. Unfinished...

A Night to Remember...

Prom night was a night full of firsts...except I didn't get to ride in a limo, but that's ok. I did however get to go in a Chevy and that's fine with me!! Robert looked sexy as everything in his tux with his camo vest and bow tie. His eyes sparkled when I walked into the room wearing my long black dress and thoes god aweful heels my mom forced me to wear. But as soon as we started dancing ... off came the shoes and off came his jacket. We danced our butts off till I got to hot to dance anymore. Prom was a beautiful place... it didn't even look like our school anymore. I had tons of fun just being with Robert and all my friends.

PROM NIGHT!! <3

Prom night is coming really soon (less than a week!) I'm so excited about it. It'll be the first prom I've been to, it'll be my first time riding in a limo, and it'll be my first actual dance where I've had a date who loves me. I so cannot wait till prom night. My heart beats in anticipation everytime I think about it. Also, it will be a night I will remember for the rest of my life because it is 3 days after mine and Robert's 7 month mark. We've been together longer than I truly thought we would. I love him so much and I get to enjoy prom night wraped in his arms and dancing along with him (I just have to learn how first.)

I'M GOING TO HAVE THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!!

What is love?

Love...

It's the fuzzy feeling you get when you're around some one you trust your heart with.

It's being able to tell them your whole life and not caring what they think when you're through because you know they'll be there for you in the end.

It's falling asleep beside them and holding them closer in your dreams as you snuggle up to them.

It's knowing that no matter what happens you always have some one to hold on to you and comfort you.

My love...

My love is Robert. He's always there for me even when we fight. He holds me close at night and never lets anyone hurt me. He knows everything about my past and I know everything about his. He is the one I see myself with years from now, growing old and being with for the rest of my life. He is a really amazing guy and he knows how to treat me just right. He has his moments but who doesn't, right? I love him with all my heart and so much more. He's perfect in every way to me and I would never do anything to change him. He is my love and my life.

Roses Are Red