My Life...

I hate how my life goes. Nothing seems to go right for me. I don't get to be happy with the one man who means the world to me and i don't get to have the family i've always prayed for. I love Travis with all my heart. He's the one and only guy who has ever made me feel wanted or even needed. He was the first guy i have ever trusted more than any guy i have ever met. The day he brought me roses i felt like i was the poor little servent girl and he was my prince charming coming in to rescue me. I miss the way he made me feel. I miss the soft touch of his hands as he held mine. I miss the safe feeling i got when he held me close at night keeping me warm...there's no greater feeling in the world than that. His beautiful blue eyes gleamed like the ocean during sun set. His lips always gave me butterflies in my stomach whenever he kissed me or even said that he loved me. I'm going to miss everything about him. My heart is completly broken and i don't think there's any one in the world that can fix it now. I was so scared of losing him again but i messed everything up. I kept starting arguments with him and draging everything on. It was all my fault, every last bit of it. I took him for granted and let him slip away from me. I love him more than words could ever say and now i don't have the chance to prove to him how much i really and truly love him. We have a beautiful little boy together and he looks just like his daddy. I want more than anything for him to grow up knowing who is daddy is and always being in his life.

My Last Chance...

My last chance at love... My last chance to make things work... My last chance to have the perfect family... I lost it all. He was my one true love and yes I know how corny that sounds but he was and always will be. He stole my heart the day we met and I want him to keep it with him always. He is the sweetest man that has ever been in my life. I know we fought at times and had our problems, but no matter what happens down the road, nothing will ever change the way I feel about him. He's not just our son's dad to me, he's the only guy I will ever love more than anyone in this world. I don't know why my heart has to get broken so much but it does and there's nothing I can do to stop that. Travis Hughes Earnest will forever hold my heart and be my only one true love!

Gotta Cowgirl Up!!

It's time for me to cowgirl up and put my big girl boots on... I'm out in the real world now. I have a beautiful little boy and the greatest friend I could ever ask for. I work for a blind old pervert (but hey, a job's a job) I'm still looking for something better to help support my son and find us a better place to live, but after the tornados hit that's getting hard to do. My son is 4 months old and the light of my life. I hope he grows up to be a big strong man, that will love and cherish his life just the way it is and not get himself down when things do go the right way. It's hard to keep a smile on your face when things go from good to horrible in a matter of seconds but I'm learning to take things as they come and not get my hopes up way too quick any more. It hurts like hell when you get your hopes up about something and it all comes crashing down in the blink of an eye...

I love my life just the way it is...

Right now I'm single but I'm trying to find that right someone who will accept me for who I am and is willing to take on the responsibility of being there for my son and treating him as if he were their own. My x is a big part of my life because of my son, so whoever wants to be with me will have to accept that my x will be around. I honestly don't think that is too much to ask of a true man.

A New Family...

As of June 12, 2011, I became a new mom. My little boy was 7lbs 15oz. We decided to name him Travis Lee Earnest. He is the most precious little boy and we love him more than anything. He means the world to both of us. Wish us luck as we venture out on our own to raise this little bundle of joy!

A New Love...

He swept me off my feet five months ago and I love him more than I've ever loved any one or any thing. He truly means the world to me and I'm so happy I get to call him mine. We are happily engaged and already starting our little family. In June, we are having a beautiful baby boy. Hopefully, he'll grow up to be just like his dad but I'm hoping he doesn't choose to ride bulls in the rodeos. I love the country life but I think I'll worry way too much. I'll be happy if he does calf ropping or something else a little safer, but all of that is farther down the road. all I need to worry about right now is thinking up a name for my little bunddle of joy. I love my boys! They're my everything!

I love you, Travis Earnest!!

True love is something u hold on tight to and never let go. I have finally found my true love and i'm in for the long haul! <3

Broken heart...

Ending things with someone you love is hard, but sometimes it's something that must be done. I know I loved him with all my heart, but sometimes things just never felt right. His friends were always around and I never got to see him. Yes my heart is broken and I feel horrible but I just needed some time. We rushed into our relationship and into the engagement. I would have loved to spend the rest of my life with him, but I didn't feel right about it. It felt like something was missing...mostly communication. I felt unimportant to him most of the time; like his friends were the biggest thing in his life and I was nothing. He may be mad at me now, but soon he'll see that I was right and that we weren't. He said that if I joined the military, that he would move with me where ever I was stationed and that we would get married right away...I'm 18. I have a whole life ahead of me and I'm really not ready to get married right away. I need to be able to live my life the way I want to; to be my own person for a change. I've been living my mom's life and not my own for so long. I'm finally moving out of her house and getting my life to where I want to be for once. But now...I don't know anymore...